# @gingerwatson on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/C6bxU1oRtV_
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/17024915-gingerwatson-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/30af611ece.jpg
- **Posted:** 2024-05-01T17:19:34.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** 𝔾𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕤𝕠𝕟 (@gingerwatson) — https://gondola.cc/gingerwatson

## Caption

Memories seep from my veins. My knees are calloused and my heart is broken. My 📦 has officially left the building signifying that Lost Spirits is truly all over. There was no Hail Mary.

I think I am currently experiencing shock. I have moments of peace and eagerness to see what is next, but a huge part of me is missing today. 

It’s the Wizard of Oz in reverse. Living in technicolor for years and then reverting back to a black and white reality where the mean lady keeps Toto. 

We had an Irish wake on the last day. Removing our costumes and memorabilia from the walls of our dressing room. The emptiness leaving behind nothing but an echo we had never heard before. 

The audience was incredible. I closed out our Circus show with our nightly “Spooky” ritual. I could see people so far back that they were all just holding their phones up by “Pineapple” to actually see the final act. Eyes through the chapel walls. Familiar faces. The cast surrounding the stage. I couldn’t look at them even though I had my sheet on. The final applause made me weep. It was a loss. A complete gut wrenching loss. And in true me fashion I played pretend, blew them a kiss, took my bow…AND CRIED. It’s like when you really want to cry and the entire room is trying to be strong for you so you don’t…but you can’t help it. That’s what it was. 

I ate 2 ciabatta loaves covered in salty butter and tears as everyone tried to finish all of the rum 🤣 we all heal differently. Bettina held me together with Mike n ikes in between acts. 🫶 this is rough. 

I’m not okay🎪 “with your entire wallet…you can save a showgirl today”🍌full circle moment with the song #lostspiritsdistillery

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## Tags

lostspiritsdistillery

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