# @caffeineandcab on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/CYJ9mQdLTE8
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/21419967-caffeineandcab-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/d931e08e60.jpg
- **Posted:** 2021-12-31T17:30:21.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Miranda Wicker (@caffeineandcab) — https://gondola.cc/caffeineandcab

## Caption

“Miranda, why are you sharing this blurry photo? Don’t you know Instagram is for curated perfection?”

Ha! Screw that nonsense. I’m sharing it because this blurry, sweaty, messy, imperfect picture is just about the most perfect representation of ME I can think of in this moment. Because I’m proud of this blurry, sweaty, messy, imperfect human.

A year ago, I was in the midst of probably one of my lowest mental health states in a decade. I didn’t talk about it; what was the point? This summer it reached a fever pitch and my entire body screamed “MOVE! For fuck’s sake, just MOVE!” 

I have never in my life experienced such a visceral need to be anything but still while also knowing that the movement my body craved was frantic and frenetic. Frantic and frenetic scared me as much as my anxiety and the sense of dread that was steeped into my bones.

We bought the bike. (I had anxiety about asking to buy the bike. clarissalaskey and suzanne_c_davis encouraged me to do it anyway.) 

The bike arrived. (I had anxiety about riding the bike. zajacda encouraged and rode with me.)

And then, slowly, something changed. 

I was listening, moving my body. Burning up the anxiety in my bones. Sweating it out. *Looking forward* to movement, for the *first time* in my *entire life.*

I could’ve just started walking outside. But I needed to be invisible. Just me and the movement. 

I realize that this investment in myself isn’t feasible for everyone. But maybe what your body’s telling you isn’t that it needs to move. Maybe it’s telling you it needs love or kindness or generosity. Maybe honoring yourself looks different for you. 

For me, it looks sweaty. Messy, imperfect. 

Human. 

New year, same me. 

But different, too.
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#togetherwegofar #anxietywarrior #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #onepeloton #newyearsameme

## Stats

- **Views:** 0
- **Likes:** 89
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- **Comments:** 30

## Tags

mentalhealthawareness, anxietywarrior, togetherwegofar, newyearsameme, onepeloton, mentalhealth

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