# @caffeineandcab on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/CNGuXs8nFpG
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/21420214-caffeineandcab-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/legacy-do/92817f918e1957c20451903495c0d8b26a56f72ba7d0fa31aa2c49bf7019acc0.jpg
- **Posted:** 2021-04-01T01:34:14.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Miranda Wicker (@caffeineandcab) — https://gondola.cc/caffeineandcab

## Caption

I’ve been writing this in my head all day, waffling between sharing my Aunt Gerry with everyone on #transdayofvisibility or saving her for Trans Day of Remembrance because she’s no longer with us. (Her death was tragic in the way that all deaths are sad and tragic but not tragic in the way that so many deaths of trans people are.) 

I met my Aunt Gerry for the first time when I was about 5. Maybe 6. The following summer, my grandfather, a hard, devout Baptist minister whose faith prevented him from knowing Gerry in the fullness of her humanity, revealed to me that Gerry had once been Jerry. That he, my Pops, had once had three sons.

I remember thinking, at maybe 7, “so?” 

Why did this matter to me? If we were all precious in His sight, if Jesus loved us all, why shouldn’t I? Why couldn’t my Pops? 

Gerry, I learned over the years, left home as soon as she could, and I can’t say that I blame her. She transitioned in the 70s and was the first in our family to complete college. She lived in Chicago, drove a red BMW, loved art of all kinds and helped write the computer code that deployed HIPAA. 

She eventually struggled with substance abuse, and I wonder how much of that was from a lack of acceptance in the early years of her coming out as trans and how much of it was the mental health issues which plagues so many members of my family, including me. 

She wasn’t perfect. None of us are. But I remember her being funny. Just the kind of person who always knew what to say to get a laugh out of everyone in the room.

Ultimately, I decided to share Gerry with everyone today because one of my regrets in life, and really, I only have a few, is that I didn’t know her better. 

Trans lives matter. I see you. I love you.
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#internationaltransgenderdayofvisibility #transgenderdayofvisibility

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## Tags

transdayofvisibility, transgenderdayofvisibility, internationaltransgenderdayofvisibility

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