# @madiisabellaa on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DEYWuhBB9D3
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/33145478-madiisabellaa-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/58729fb01c.jpg
- **Posted:** 2025-01-03T22:49:03.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** MADI MARSH (@madiisabellaa) — https://gondola.cc/madiisabellaa

## Caption

As my pageant career comes to an end in 48 hours, I’m reflecting on why I even started competing. 

I remember entering into the Air Force Academy only a few short months after losing my mom to pancreatic cancer. I wanted to quit with every step I took. I remember standing on the footsteps knowing if I turned around that my mom wouldn’t get to be there watching. Having to get up every day knowing I couldn’t turn to her for advice was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I wanted to leave the Academy multiple times my freshman year because of that overwhelming loneliness that came with my grief. It wasn’t until my second semester when things started to turn around for me. I decided to enter my first pageant so I could do something fun while learning how to talk about the loss of my mom. I found amazing mentors like Dr Anderson and friends to turn to like Walker. 

It’s been almost 5 years since I started competing and I can’t believe that I am ending as Miss America. Truly all of the work I have done in academics, pageants, my non-profit, and more has all been in honor of my mom. 

In 2018, I remember feeling broken to the point that I couldn’t continue. Now, 7 years later, I can see clearly that it was the fire that forged me into who I am now. Every day that I have the gift of still being alive, I will use it for people like my mom. 

#foryou #fyp #foryoupage #pancreaticcancer #whitneysrace #missamerica #PanCAN #grief #griefjourney

## Stats

- **Views:** 46,134
- **Likes:** 5,519
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 155

## Tags

pancreaticcancer, missamerica, griefjourney, whitneysrace, foryou, grief, fyp, pancan, foryoupage

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