# @de_ballilogann on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DQsa7LliNES
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/36599080-de-ballilogann-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/a65ef1b1e9.jpg
- **Posted:** 2025-11-06T00:03:47.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Balli Logan (@de_ballilogann) — https://gondola.cc/de_ballilogann

## Caption

Chrysalis, a sacred moment of transformation. In this still, quiet space, old life falls away and a new form appears.

🧠: jamarrobertsofficial 
🎥: adambrazier 
Artist: bjork 
Space: St. John’s the Divine Church 
Outfit: freepeople #whenyouwearfp 

This piece by Jamar Roberts has been a cherished memory of mine for over a decade.

I first learned it in my junior year of high school, my hardest year at that point in life. Preparing for nationals, competing in nearly 17 dances, I was drained physically and mentally, and struggling at home. But at sixteen, what mattered most was that everyone thought I was happy.

My psychology teacher at wcs, Mr. Green, noticed something was off with me. One day, he left a note asking me to come to his office. When I closed the door, no words came out, just tears. For the next 2 weeks, I went back every day to talk.

After school, I went straight to dance. When Jamar came to choreograph, it felt like he saw us. The music he played was soft and gentle. His movement felt kind. There were moments where I could breathe, let go, or tense and feel. 

Even as our youngest choreographer, Jamar wasn’t choreographing to win. He created on us to make art and give back. I could feel that the moment he walked in the room, and it put me at ease. Thank you for sharing laughs and not making things heavier than they needed to be.

As a dancer, teacher, and choreographer, I wish spending time with choreography was more normalized. People say in auditions you either show out day one or get cut…and that’s true. But one night of sleep can completely transform how a dance lives in an artist. 

I encourage my teachers to teach round 2s or 3s if the choreography resonates with me. In an hour and a half, I’m often just doing the steps …but given time, I can become the dance and give so much more.

It’s a shame how many dancers highlight only the tough parts of growing up a  competitive dancer and (believe me, I lived it), but there was so much more good than the bad. I could spend hours rehearsing, growing with each practice. 

There’s something fulfilling about watching yourself evolve through repetition and presence.

Continued in comments…

## Stats

- **Views:** 797
- **Likes:** 292
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 105

## Tags

whenyouwearfp

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