# @hainesfitness on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp0PAv1LJta
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/4801845-hainesfitness-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/e66d82c0f3.jpg
- **Posted:** 2023-03-15T16:25:27.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Alexa - Online Fitness Coach (@hainesfitness) — https://gondola.cc/hainesfitness

## Caption

Yesterday marks 200 days without a drink 🍺🥃🍸🍹

It makes me cringe to look back on old pictures & videos of myself 

I feel embarrassed & slightly sad that I’ll never be able to go back to change certain things I’ve done or said 

And to be honest, from always blacking out there are a lot of situations that I don’t remember & I’m constantly searching for clarity that just isn’t there 

This has been the main focus of my healing over the last couple of years 

Being grateful for every experience that has lead me to who I am today 

Accepting the fact that there are situations I’ll never have an answer to but I still have to move forward 

Forgiving myself for things that I have done, said, or experienced 

I sometimes even think that maybe I’m just doing all of this as a way to make up for the old version of myself 

I don’t speak on these thoughts much, but it’s time for me to be more transparent about my journey as a whole. 

Because yes I do struggle & have thoughts that bring me back to dark places, but then I force myself to recognize all that I am today.

All that I have grown into by doing the deep work & being resilient 

& that is definitely someone I am proud of (like I actually cry over it sometimes 😂)

So my message today is for myself:
I love you and I am proud of you ❤️ 

I’m grateful for all of you who support my journey. Let’s keep goinnnn 🔥🔥🔥 200 days!!! 

#fitnessjourney #healing #healthyhabits #transformation #lifestylejourney #soberlife #gratitude #change #growthmindset #HainesFitness

## Stats

- **Views:** 810
- **Likes:** 238
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 30

## Tags

gratitude, healthyhabits, hainesfitness, soberlife, transformation, lifestylejourney, growthmindset, fitnessjourney, change, healing

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