# @janylsmithesq on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DVzhuLIja_m
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/59483735-janylsmithesq-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/324cfbe8a0.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-03-13T00:50:39.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Janyl Smith (@janylsmithesq) — https://gondola.cc/janylsmithesq

## Caption

9️⃣ things I’ve learned in nine years of marriage ✨

1. Marriage is built in the small moments. Big celebrations and trips are wonderful, but most of my marriage is ordinary life: early mornings, quick check-ins during busy days, time together after the kids are asleep, etc. We try to make those moments count.

2. Speak with respect, even when you’re frustrated. Disagreement is inevitable in marriage, but disrespect is optional. It’s important to us to speak in a way that protects the relationship, especially when we disagree.

3. Protect your marriage from unnecessary outside noise. Not every opinion needs a seat at our table. Our marriage is its own ecosystem, and the healthiest thing for us has been keeping certain things between the two of us.

4. Life changes, and your marriage has to grow with it. The relationship Marvin and I had before children, careers, obligations, and in my case grief, had to evolve. The key for us has been growing alongside each other.

5. The way you talk about your spouse matters. For me, it’s not just how you speak to your spouse, but how you refer to them when they’re not around. Public and private respect are both important.

6. Shared values matter more than shared hobbies. My husband and I don’t need to like all the same things. What has mattered most for us is agreeing on the big stuff: our faith, our core values, our worldview, how we raise our children, the life we want to build, and the legacy we want to leave behind.

7. Being a team matters more than being right. Oftentimes, the better question for us isn’t who is right, but what moves us forward.

8. Your children are not the center of your marriage. I’ll never forget a sermon we heard when I was pregnant with Summer that spoke to this, and I’ve carried that message with me all these years later.

9. Intentional time together matters more than people think. Life gets busy fast, especially for two working professionals. Planning dates, etc. is key because 1:1 time rarely happens automatically for us.

Anything you would add to this year’s list? 💍

#intentionalmarriage #marriage #anniversary #marriedlife #familylife

## Stats

- **Views:** 11,436
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- **Comments:** 245

## Tags

familylife, marriage, intentionalmarriage, marriedlife, anniversary

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