# @alexandraamielyons on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/BpC2o_fhFDC
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/61433198-alexandraamielyons-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/e9e63d2676.jpg
- **Posted:** 2018-10-17T18:39:20.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Amïe (@alexandraamielyons) — https://gondola.cc/alexandraamielyons

## Caption

Vicissitudes after a direct experience
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Infinity piercing through their eyes. My mind hurls concepts into this vast expanse, trying desperately to reclaim ownership of my spliced body. 
For hours afterwards I stay fragmented, stubbornly reluctant to incarnate. Yearning with all my being to stay here in this blissful chaos. Returning gradually, I become spiteful. Eyes closed in protest. Wishing I’d kept them in boundless love, forever.
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Identity tries desperately to grasp at the experience and claim ownership of it, racing behind this impossibility with its semantics, eventually catching up and pinning me down, pouring old belief patterns into my breath until the divine reveal is encapsulated into something, anything, that makes logical sense to a mind full of limits.
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But nothing makes more sense than the raw experience itself. It is pure, unadulterated. 
This intellectual black hole. I hunger, I starve, for the divine. Take me back. I’m terrified of forgetting, of falling back into my old ways of relating.
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Teetering on the brink of this chasm, buoyant enough to float above the depths that threaten to engulf me if faith deserts me. Cascading sensations without sequence. Time, gravitating towards events, non-linear. 
Believing the Unbelievable. I can’t not. Words tear through the fabric of old delusions. A double edged pen, blurring and distorting the memories that I so desperately fear losing.
Should I let go of these words? Before the experience abandons me and retracts beyond recall?
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We are conduits between the heavenly realms and the Earth. Like a forest bed, forming a grid, a network of radiant nodes. Everyone, exactly where we need to be. Glorious, perfect.
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#medicine #grief #gratitude #onelove #toad #5hive #human #consciousness #directexperience #communityovercompetition #poetrycommunity #yoga #yogafam #ayahuasca #5meodmt

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## Tags

yogafam, 5hive, human, grief, toad, medicine, ayahuasca, 5meodmt, directexperience, onelove, communityovercompetition, yoga, consciousness, poetrycommunity, gratitude

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