# @iamlouiserumball on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/CtRxlMKLKrc
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/61833403-iamlouiserumball-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/ade924e7a2.jpg
- **Posted:** 2023-06-09T17:18:32.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Louise Rumball (@iamlouiserumball) — https://gondola.cc/iamlouiserumball

## Caption

Emotional availability is sooo abstract. I ALWAYS hear people say, "Oh, he/she is emotionally unavailable” and I found myself thinking, what TF does that actually even mean?! So, I took it to therapy, worked it out, and now I’m bringing it to you w/ drtarimack. 

As someone who considers themselves emotional, I always believed that openly expressing my emotions and being able to cry (or shout...!) automatically made me emotionally available. Therapy helped me realize that maybe I wasn't as emotionally available as I thought. And mayyyyybe, that's why I found myself attracted to emotionally unavailable or inconsistent men for such a long time.

In Episode 94, we delve deep into the true meaning of emotional availability. The truth? Emotional availability is a two step process:

1. The ability to identify and understand the feelings inside of us & our nervous system (something many of us were never taught to do as kids); &
2. The skill to not suppress, but to effectively communicate our emotions to others, and hold space in the moments of both comfort and discomfort, in a calm and regulated manner, without explosion or without disconnection.

As it turns out, the world isn't great at either of those things. 

Without being able to do these two things, we will never be able to deeply connect in moments of intimacy, thus making a relationship an emotionally unavailable and disconnected one if there’s a barrier between you and your person. 

Healing has helped me improve in both areas.

Episode 94 is an important one. So excited to take you there!

With love,
Louise x

#Therapy #SelfWork #DatingAdvice #TheOPENHOUSEPodcast

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## Tags

theopenhousepodcast, therapy, selfwork, datingadvice

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