# @_heartmom_ on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DLh4IWcRxa6
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/63279398-heartmom-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/1d7f388613.jpg
- **Posted:** 2025-06-30T15:05:27.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Kelly McKee Zajfen (@_heartmom_) — https://gondola.cc/_heartmom_

## Caption

I still look for you everywhere.

In the small groups at school drop-off and pickup, I scan the crowd instinctively expecting to catch a glimpse of you, your smile, your sweet little walk. I still buy your favorite snacks without thinking, and every time I watch tennis, I see you. Your focus, your joy, your talent. I think about how you’d be dancing in the backseat when your favorite songs came on. And I smile, because I know those wouldn’t be your favorite songs anymore. you’d have moved on to something cooler, something new. But you can’t hear them now. So I play them louder. Maybe it will reach you…

I still wander through the boys’ section, pausing at shirts I know you’d look so handsome in. I choose green whenever I can…your color. I think about you on all the Disney rides. You were always a little more cautious, like me. And still, I ride them now for you. Because you should be riding them with her. Especially when she tells me she doesn’t want to “ride this one alone.”

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of Lily’s arms, her legs, her knees and I see yours. She is growing. You should be growing too.

I hear your laugh. The kind of laugh that filled the room. The kind that made everyone else start to laugh too. I hear it even now. And the moment my mind begins to wake each day, I feel the weight of your absence settle in again. I replay our final moments. I try not to, but I do. And it breaks me open, every single time. But I still get up. For you. For Lily. For your Dad. 

And I begin again. Searching for you everywhere I go. Maybe that’s how I get through it. Thinking I just may see you today. Or tomorrow…

Forever nine.
Forever mine.

#grief #childloss #sunsetsforgeorgie

## Stats

- **Views:** 0
- **Likes:** 3,312
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- **Comments:** 218

## Tags

childloss, grief, sunsetsforgeorgie

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