# @ourfamilyvine on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DPuSWtGko-L
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/63284720-ourfamilyvine-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/fa9cac1ee5.jpg
- **Posted:** 2025-10-12T20:51:03.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Jennifer Parra | Family Lifestyle | Adoption (@ourfamilyvine) — https://gondola.cc/ourfamilyvine

## Caption

“I can’t find a heartbeat.” I asked, “Both of them?” The doctor replied “I’m sorry.” (This still gets me even after 25 years.) Honestly, mentally I left and watched myself go through it. I believe that was my way to protect myself from the pain. I went numb. Something that I never shared before. 

During my pregnancy, I had done everything right. Everything I was asked to do, I did. Eat this. Don’t eat this. Take this vitamin. Bed rest. Everything…done done done. All for my baby boys. 

Every day I was pregnant, I talked to them,read to them, played all kinds of music, sang to them…just bonded so deeply with them. Everything was washed and ready for them to come home. I was so excited to meet them! 

I went into the hospital believing I was delivering twin baby boys but, instead I left with only a memory box filled with their hospital bands, piece of their hair, their caps and blankets…and my broken heart and dreams 💔It took years for me to heal and it wasn’t easy. I hid it well. The guilt was unbearable (even though I know it wasn’t my fault).  

Behind closed doors, I was a mess and Cesar was my rock. He fed me when I didn’t want to eat. Bathed me when I didn’t want to get up. Held me when I cried myself to sleep. Prayed for me when my faith was shattered. Boxed up our sons’ things because he knew I couldn’t (it took over 3 years to finally do it). He never rushed my grief. Because of his strong faith, my faith was restored and I began to heal. 

This became the starting point of a journey I never expected. From getting pregnant with our rainbow baby who was born on the same day as our twins to opening our hearts to adoption. I imagine my twins watching over us and seeing our family. Praying that they are proud of the mom I became. 

So when you see our family now — the laughter, the joy, the chaos — I hope you also see the strength it took to get here. Because behind every smile is a story of healing (for each one of us), and behind every memory box is a mother who still remembers. 🕊️

#infantlossawareness #stillbirth #twinboys #stillbornstillloved #grief #motherhoodafterloss #realmotherhood #twinangels #familystory #ourfamilyvine

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## Tags

twinboys, realmotherhood, ourfamilyvine, infantlossawareness, grief, familystory, twinangels, stillbornstillloved, motherhoodafterloss, stillbirth

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