# @ellarh_h on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DWb_iwmhDqL
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/63310357-ellarh-h-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/f39320c46c.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-03-28T18:00:00.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Ella Harry-Adelakun| Edmonton Content Creator (@ellarh_h) — https://gondola.cc/ellarh_h

## Caption

I don’t believe in sacrificing yourself as a mom. I actually think that makes you no good to anybody. Not you, not the people in your life, and definitely not your child.
Here are some things I refuse to do as someone who sees themselves as a whole person outside of being someone’s mother.

-Wear only athleisure because “what’s the point.” One thing I’m going to do is wear my cute outfit and HEELS while having a baby attached to me by the hip.

-Stop doing my hair because “nobody sees me anyway”. I never did my hair for people, so this was not even a question.

-Cancel plans with my friends because of mom guilt. The road trip? Keys, I have it. The brunch? Let’s go. Chilling at your place? Sure, what time? Sometimes I’ll take my child, but most times I leave her with people I love and trust. I don’t let mom guilt lead me to stop being a villager in the village I’m building.

-Stop having opinions about music -only kids’ music in the car. I listen to what she likes and what I like. I simply can’t listen to Cocomelon all day, can I? 😭

-Apologize for needing alone time. I love spending time with my child, but I value my alone time now more than ever. Just me, doing whatever I want, child-free. That’s why I love my husband for bringing up the idea of a “baby-free day.”

-Stop dreaming about things that are just for me. A child-free trip? A marathon? A day fully engulfed in my hobbies just because I enjoy it? Many things I do revolve around my child, but not EVERYTHING I do revolves around her. Some things are just for me.

-Let my body become a footnote in my own life.

-Shrink my ambitions to fit into the “good mom” box. I don’t know why people have this myth that giving up everything you want and love makes you a “good mom.” Please unlearn this today 😭. I love that I’ve been able to keep my goals and ambitions. She’ll grow up with a mother who actually had dreams and goals, and I hope she gets inspired to do the same.

If you are a parent or hope to be one day, what are some things you refuse to do? Let me know in the comments 💕

#momlifeunfiltered#momlifehacks

## Stats

- **Views:** 3,506
- **Likes:** 302
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- **Comments:** 26

## Tags

momlifehacks, momlifeunfiltered

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