# @adrimoench on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/C8mkma9RIZ8
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/63487355-adrimoench-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/a38be2697f.jpg
- **Posted:** 2024-06-24T15:00:00.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Trauma Informed Coach / Expanded States (@adrimoench) — https://gondola.cc/adrimoench

## Caption

I recently heard someone say the word “should” is a “could” laced with “shame”.

Which got me thinking…
Then “shouldn’t” is a “couldn’t” laced with “shame”. 

As a woman I can’t tell you how many times someone told me I can’t or I couldn’t do something because that’s not what women do. 

Deconstructing gender roles in relation to internalized patriarchy has taken so much work. 

Traditional gender roles often emphasize physical attractiveness as a key attribute for women, while men are valued for other qualities like strength, fun or success. This can lead to internalized beliefs that a woman’s worth is primarily based on her appearance, caretaking, expectations around her body, contributing to body dysmorphia. 

This dichotomy can create a societal imbalance where men’s worth is seen as multifaceted and based on various achievements, while women’s worth is predominantly linked to their physical appearance and what they provide for others. 

Implications look like:
Narrow Definition of Success for Women: When women are primarily valued for their looks, their other talents, achievements, and qualities can be overshadowed or undervalued. This can limit opportunities and aspirations, reinforcing the perception that appearance & caregiving is the most important aspect of their identity.

Women may internalize these gendered expectations, believing that their primary role is to be attractive and nurturing. This can lead to self-objectification and externalization of self where women see themselves through the eyes of others and prioritize their looks and sacrifice other aspects of their lives, such as career ambitions, intellectual pursuits, or personal interests.

Learning to give myself permission to play has been one of the first post-divorce tools I reclaimed 10 years ago. Deconstructing the emotional labor we give as women and replacing it with play was a way for me to connect on a deeper level while letting go of expectations of what women can and can’t do. 

In what ways was play stifled as you matured as a woman? How are you wanting to reclaim play now?

#dharma #reclamation #playtherapy #genderequality

## Stats

- **Views:** 399
- **Likes:** 35
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 8

## Tags

dharma, reclamation, playtherapy, genderequality

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