# @joriehoulihan on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DXkvK8lINfQ
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/64840419-joriehoulihan-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/00f15573ac.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-04-26T00:02:01.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Jorie Houlihan - ADHD Life Coach (@joriehoulihan) — https://gondola.cc/joriehoulihan

## Caption

You were about to do the thing. They asked. Now you can't do it. Here's why.
 
You had mentally committed to cleaning the kitchen. Maybe even looked forward to getting it done.

And then your partner walked in and said, "hey, can you clean the kitchen tonight?" Not demanding. Not implying you'd been slacking. Just... asking.

And something in you shut down.

That task you were perfectly fine doing two minutes ago? Suddenly felt like something being imposed on you instead of something YOU chose.

This is Pathological Demand Avoidance in a relationship context. The moment someone else's voice attaches to a task, your brain reclassifies it. It's no longer your idea. It becomes an imposition.

When this goes unrecognized, it does real damage. Your partner doesn't understand why you were fine two minutes ago and now you're not. And honestly? In the moment, you might not fully understand it either.

It's not stubbornness. It's not entitlement. It's your nervous system protecting its sense of ownership over your own choices.

That's not a flaw. But it IS worth understanding. Because once you can see it, you can start working with it.

Full episode linked in bio. 🎧

#ADHD #ADHDwomen #womenwithadhd #adhdrelationships #adhdcoaching #adhdawareness #neurodivergent #lateADHDdiagnosis #adhdlife #adhdtips

## Stats

- **Views:** 3,966
- **Likes:** 58
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 1

## Tags

adhdawareness, adhdwomen, adhd, womenwithadhd, adhdrelationships, neurodivergent, lateadhddiagnosis, adhdtips, adhdlife, adhdcoaching

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