# @couplescommunicate on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DXxNPYFASf_
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/65042938-couplescommunicate-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/b9a68f50fc.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-04-30T20:17:40.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** CouplesCommunicate| Relationship Repair & Communication (@couplescommunicate) — https://gondola.cc/couplescommunicate

## Caption

Drop “REPAIR” in the comments and we’ll send you our free guide — the 6 patterns that damage relationships and exactly how to reverse them.

Gottman’s research found these patterns in nearly every relationship that didn’t survive — not dramatic blowups, but quiet erosion over time.

1. Contempt replacing curiosity
When you stop wondering why your partner does something and start assuming the worst, contempt has taken root. It’s the single strongest predictor of relationship breakdown.

2. Stonewalling during conflict
Shutting down mid-argument feels like self-protection, but your partner experiences it as abandonment. Over time it teaches both people that conflict is unsafe.

3. Bids for connection going unanswered
A bid is any small moment of reaching — a comment, a touch, a look. When these go unnoticed repeatedly, partners stop reaching altogether. This is the quiet one.

4. Criticism aimed at character, not behaviour
“You never think about me” lands differently than “I needed you last night.” One attacks a person. The other opens a conversation.

5. Repair attempts landing in silence
One partner tries to soften the tension — a joke, an apology, a gesture. When the other doesn’t recognise it, both people feel unseen and the rupture deepens.

6. Emotional needs expressed as attacks
Unmet needs that go unspoken long enough eventually come out as criticism or anger. The need underneath is valid. The delivery pushes the other person further away.

Save this. The pattern you recognise is the one worth addressing first.

Follow couplescommunicate for daily relationship psychology.

#relationshipadvice #gottmanmethod #divorcewarningsigns #healthyrelationship #relationshippsychology couplestherapy emotionalsafety couplescommunicate relationshipgoals attachmentstyle conflictresolution resentment securelove loveadvice couplehabits​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

## Stats

- **Views:** 567
- **Likes:** 8
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 2

## Tags

relationshippsychology, gottmanmethod, healthyrelationship, relationshipadvice, divorcewarningsigns

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