# @paigenielsen on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/CcrEvpCpm43
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/66735158-paigenielsen-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/f6810bf379.jpg
- **Posted:** 2022-04-23T00:24:21.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Paige Nielsen (@paigenielsen) — https://gondola.cc/paigenielsen

## Caption

6 months after my mom passed…
⠀
I finished my senior year at the University of North Carolina with my biggest support above; she lost her second battle with cancer and my siblings and I had to witness the unbearable pain she was going through fighting for her life.
⠀
We injected her with drugs, we changed her when she couldn’t control her bowels, we saw our strong ass mother dwindle to nothing but a frail human body.
⠀
I got drafted to Seattle where my mother was staying to get her treatment at John Hopkins hospital during her fight.
⠀
I wasn’t able to grieve right away as I had an internship in New York that required long hours all while training for my senior year.
⠀
The grief swept my feet underneath me when I came to Seattle. I stayed in the same room she dwindled away in, smelled her scent, had terrible dreams, nightmares of her skeleton, all while showing up at practice anyways and working three jobs because I didn’t have a contract yet, and I didn’t have the means to support myself. I cried every night to sleep, drank wine, looked at pictures, videos, and felt so alone. - I questioned the purpose of life, as life on earth took away my best friend too early.
⠀
I faked it til I made it. But thank God I had those who surrounded me and supported me. And I made it through those trying times.
⠀
When you meet someone, be kind. They could be going through something terrible. Life is hard. #cancersucks #lymphoma

## Stats

- **Views:** 5,953
- **Likes:** 143
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 6

## Tags

lymphoma, cancersucks

---
Copyright (c) Gondola