# @iamdondrae on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DaD6zOGmPJJ
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/67263113-iamdondrae-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/f338ebd7d1.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-06-26T19:42:28.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Dondrae (@iamdondrae) — https://gondola.cc/iamdondrae

## Caption

I walked into church carrying thoughts I hadn’t told many people. I walked out convinced God had been speaking directly to me.
WARNING: Long confessional w/ multiple captions. Read if you care or dare

Before worship rehearsal even started, our head pastor hadn’t arrived yet. His son told our worship team that he was experiencing heavy spiritual warfare over the message he would be preaching in both services and asked us to pray for God’s strength and protection over him. He even asked me to lead the prayer. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. Then the sermon started.

The message centered around our relationships (parents, spouses, coworkers, and friends) but underneath all of it was one issue: the fear of rejection and believing you’re unworthy of love. My pastor described it as having an “orphan spirit.”
It’s believing you constantly disappoint people. It’s being afraid of becoming a burden. It’s believing you’re not worth loving. Eventually those lies lead to loneliness, isolation, bitterness, insecurity, and hopelessness. 

This past month, I’ve cried to trusted friends saying these exact things. I’ve admitted my fear of rejection, my feelings of being unworthy of love, my insecurity, bitterness, and even the return of suicidal thoughts. These are battles I still fight today.

From beginning to end, this message felt like God speaking directly to me. Then we were reminded of the Gospel.
The prodigal son who returned to his father.
The reminder that we didn’t choose God first…
He chose us first.
As he spoke, I felt like God was reading my heart.
But what completely broke me happened next.

The week before, I had told several people that I genuinely felt like a dog.

Not because I felt worthless, but because it felt like people enjoyed having me around when it was time to have fun. Like a dog, everyone loves spending time with you when there’s nothing required of them. But when it comes to commitment… to really showing up… I often feel forgotten.
Then, completely unplanned, my pastor said that Jesus adopting us into His Kingdom reminded him of adopting a dog… that excitement and joy a dog has when it’s finally brought home…..
It felt like a shockwave.

## Stats

- **Views:** 0
- **Likes:** 93
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 6

## Credits

| Name | Username | Profile | Role |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
| Dondrae | @iamdondrae | https://gondola.cc/iamdondrae | Music Media Production Company |

---
Copyright (c) Gondola