# @juleswaller_ on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DbUu4PDE_ib
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/68338530-juleswaller-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/b1b54dfa54.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-07-28T04:56:47.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Julie Waller (Jules) | School Refusal Support (@juleswaller_) — https://gondola.cc/juleswaller_

## Caption

“She’s fine when she’s here.”

Every parent in this situation has heard some version of this.

From a teacher, a school psych, a principal. And it is said kindly, almost always - which somehow makes it land harder, because now you can’t even be angry about it.

Here’s the thing though: they’re not wrong. 
She probably is fine when she’s there.

The mask doesn’t come off at 3pm. It goes on at 9am - at the gate, if she makes it through the gate. Everything after that is performance, and she is very, very good at it. 

But that’s not a sign the distress isn’t real. Holding it together for six hours in front of people you have to manage is one of the most expensive things a dysregulated nervous system can do.

So the school gets the six hours of effort. You get the bill - at 3am, at 6:30am, at 7:50am, at 5pm. And because none of those hours have witnesses, you end up in a room full of people describing a child they’ve never met.

You’re not exaggerating. 
You’re just the only one in the room who’s seen the whole day.  And has to manage it 24/7.

- Jules ❤️

#schoolrefusal #schoolanxiety #teenanxiety #kidsanxiety #teenmentalhealth

## Stats

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## Tags

schoolrefusal, schoolanxiety, teenmentalhealth, kidsanxiety, teenanxiety

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