# @couplescommunicate on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DcYmp8zkZj6
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/69572634-couplescommunicate-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/28b51926f9.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-08-23T13:33:26.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** CouplesCommunicate| Relationship Repair & Communication (@couplescommunicate) — https://gondola.cc/couplescommunicate

## Caption

gottman's research on bids for connection breaks them into distinct types, and most people were only ever taught to recognize the loudest one. the other three go missing constantly, not because they don't matter, but because they don't look like a request.

soft bids are the easy ones. "how was your day." a glance across the room. low risk, low stakes, the type most people already catch without trying.

depth bids are quieter and riskier. a partner admitting they're scared, or unsure, or not okay, disguised as small talk. the risk is higher, so the bid gets quieter, which is exactly why it gets missed.

playful bids and repair bids get noticed least of all. a joke mid-tension. "can we start over." these aren't distractions from the real conversation, psychologists find they're often what actually ends it well.

comment "bid" and the link will land in the dms. the invisible reach maps all four bid types with real examples, plus a 28-day daily practice and three bonus tools: a bid tracker, a missed bid repair protocol, and a bid builder.

save this. which of the four do you think you miss most often?

follow couplescommunicate for evidence-based relationship psychology every week.

#relationshippsychology #couplescommunicate #gottmanmethod #bidsforconnection #emotionalintimacy #relationshipadvice #healthyrelationship #attachmenttheory #marriageadvice #relationshiptips #communicationiskey #emotionalsafety #datenight #chooseeachother #coupletherapy

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## Tags

relationshippsychology, couplescommunicate, bidsforconnection, datenight, attachmenttheory, coupletherapy, marriageadvice, emotionalintimacy, gottmanmethod, healthyrelationship, relationshipadvice, emotionalsafety, relationshiptips, communicationiskey, chooseeachother

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