# @underthebar on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DdHBpF4uiDP
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/70255276-underthebar-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/b08b3e6f35.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-09-10T14:16:02.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Dave Tate (@underthebar) — https://gondola.cc/underthebar

## Caption

PHAT DAD FUNCTIONAL CONJUGATE TRAINING 2026 UPDATE 

First year in 40+ years with no LOCKEDIN training goal, so here we go with #ragebait - NOCAP, amd 100% AURAFARMING

It’s been MID AF. Just VIBES, REHAB, SIDEQUESTS, and DELUSION.

With the year running out, I threw a Hail Mary.

Michigan style. If the first one fails, find another second and yeet that motherfucker again.

8 plates per side. Reverse bands.

Yes, reverse bands. I’m 58. I don’t need assistance.

I need an ACCOMPLICE

Assisted Living Conjugate.

The bands were pulling harder than Lindsey Clancy’s defense team.

Unrack: +10,000 AURA.

Hit the box: COOKED.

Coming up, slower than Amy Acton finishing a Labor Day speech.

I had time to check Bitcoin, get MOGGED by Trump Coin, while I lose my ass, MEW twice, and reconsider every financial decision I’ve made since 1998.

Generational #L.

Some broccoli-haired 19-year-old with a 315 squat and six months of online coaching will stitch this and explain why my stimulus-to-fatigue ratio was buns.

Let him COOK

Meanwhile, Jelly Roll sold out, Shawn Ryan is possessed by Satan, Michigan gets extra downs, and Gen Alpha keeps yelling #SIX SEVEN for no fucking reason.

Society is COOKED

But UNC stood up with eight plates.

Phat Dad is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. GOATed 

#nocap 

STUFF: 
Training Center - Private 
Supplements - Dollar Store Cinnamon Graham Crackers, Saltines with Cheese Wiz 
Gym Equipment - Working on a sponsor deal with @elitefts 
Meal Prep - Grilled Cheese, PB&J, My Bologna has a first name, it’s OSCAR
Apparel - @elitefts Return & Misprints 
Coach - Ai Hallucinations 
Nutrition - Food & Fluids 
THC \ CBD - Tegridy Farms 
Ped Consultants - Hal  Teston, Dr. Dee Ball,  Ane A. Varr 
Business Consultants - Instagram & TikTok Reels 
Motivation - Serenity 2005 - River Bar Fight

## Stats

- **Views:** 49,484
- **Likes:** 2,481
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 116

## Tags

nocap, l, ragebait, six

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