# @elysel on Instagram

- **Type:** Image
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/CrLeKZnPXVM
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/70869436-elysel-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/4edbcc0895.jpg
- **Posted:** 2023-04-18T13:30:00.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** ELYSE LAM (@elysel) — https://gondola.cc/elysel

## Caption

One month ago today
#onemonthold 

Blessed under the rhythm of blackpinkofficial , our twins were finally born and skin-to-skin on my chest for the first time. Mum hack: BLACKPINK is the best pushing music ever, the birthing team loves it too. Like around 30 minutes and we were done.

It was the happiest day of my life, but sadly there is some bittersweetness. Our future changed drastically at week 32 when one of our babies’ heart stopped. No parent is ever prepared to lose a child, but losing it while still in my belly is truly heartbreaking. 

The other baby was fine, but I had to carry the deceased baby till her sister’s delivery. She stayed there to support her twin and give her the strength she needed to make it to the end of my pregnancy. 

We had to reset ourselves and face this new reality with love and courage. Hence, our act of love was to name our passed baby a beautiful name, ARIA. 

When the delivery day arrived, my emotions were beyond complex. Happiness and sadness came together, I tried to figure out whether I wanted to say goodbye to Aria or not. I am glad we did hold her and spent some time with her. I will always be grateful she picked me as her birth mother. Although the journey was short, it was a beautiful memory tho. We believe we will meet again at the right time one day. 

After holding Aria, I led eyes on her twin sister and immediately fell in love with my daughter. Both of us knew she had lived strong thanks to the love and company of her sister. This is why we named her something similar, ALIA. So that their bond keeps strong despite one of them taking care of us up there. 

Despite the tragedy, we are still a family of five, will always keep Aria alive in our hearts and memories. This is why I am calm now and ready to embark on this new adventure called motherhood. 

My dear Aria, 
I whispered I love you. 
Hope you heard before you left.
Goodbye for now and see you again soon, my sweet baby girl. 
Mommy, Daddy, Alia and Romi will always love you.

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## Tags

onemonthold

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