# @juleswaller_ on Instagram

- **Type:** Video
- **Original URL:** https://www.instagram.com/p/DeUYFkmTx2J
- **Gondola URL:** https://gondola.cc/posts/71513999-juleswaller-instagram
- **Thumbnail:** https://img.gondola.cc/tr:w-,h-,fo-auto/postThumbnails/f7677c750c.jpg
- **Posted:** 2026-10-10T15:14:03.000+00:00
- **Account Owner:** Julie Waller (Jules) | School Refusal Support (@juleswaller_) — https://gondola.cc/juleswaller_

## Caption

It’s the most natural question in the world. 
If you knew the reason, you could fix it.

But with school refusal, asking “why” on a school morning usually makes things harder. 

Here’s what’s happening.

When the nervous system reads danger, the thinking part of the brain goes partly offline. That’s not a choice. It’s biology. 

Your child genuinely may not know why. 

Or the reason they give (“I hate maths”, “I’ve got no friends”) is the brain’s best guess at explaining a feeling that started in the body.

Then they get questioned, can’t answer properly, and feel even more pressure. Alarm goes up.

Try this instead:

1. Swap “why” for “where”. “Where do you feel it in your body?” Kids can often point to their tummy or chest even when they have no words.

2. Name it for them. “It looks like your body feels really unsafe about school right now.”

3. Save the problem-solving for later. The real conversations about what’s hard at school happen when they’re calm. Think the car on a Saturday, not 8am on a Monday.

You’ll learn far more about what’s driving the school refusal this way than any morning interrogation will tell you.

Comment TOOLKIT for the link to my School Refusal Toolkit if you want the full step-by-step plan.

- Jules ♥️

#schoolrefusal #schoolanxiety #schoolstress #childrensmentalhealth #teenanxiety

## Stats

- **Views:** 1,851
- **Likes:** 13
- **Shares:** 0
- **Comments:** 5

## Tags

schoolrefusal, schoolanxiety, schoolstress, teenanxiety, childrensmentalhealth

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