so much of my grief has been rooted in guilt that i wasn’t around enough during the last year we had taylor with us & while ruin the friendship is obviously a “what could’ve maybe been” love song, it has made that “guilt” i constantly have feel SO seen for the first time and i just 😭 8 months before taylor passed i moved across the country & it was our first real separation from each other in the 12 years i knew her. we both cancelled on each other for different reasons SO much that last year & finally had plans to see each other again… but the universe had other ideas and took her from us two weeks before that could happen. i go back in my head all the time and wish i said no to a work event i felt like i had to go to so i could’ve gone to her birthday party instead. i wish we got that last hangout, because even though we never thought it would be the last at the time, it would’ve been an all timer. there was no worse feeling than getting a “taylor’s in the hospital and we don’t kno...