This is a poem I wrote when I finally decided to put myself before track. I like to seek out and have lots of fun and connect and push and help lift up others and that’s why I was drawn to sports and track. When I started asking myself questions like how hot my showers should be, based on what track wants I knew I had disappeared. Additionally my doctor was worried about me not having a period or only having one every 4-5 months. It’s something I pushed off and never really took seriously. After making the decision to leave the track I was heartbroken. Even though I only knew track for a short time I had come to love it and It was so hard leaving the routine I knew even if it was harmful. In the 7 months after leaving I’ve competed in one of the hardest 70.3 ironman courses, committed to continue athletics at a beautiful school in Wisconsin, gained a somewhat regular menstrual cycle and found my sense of peace and fun again in the process. This poem is about not forcing the grin...