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Running is simultaneously empowering and heartbreaking, uplifting and discouraging, freeing and binding, magnificent and mean...it has broken me again and again, but it has also healed me. About a month ago, I had one of the worst races of my life at Sierra Zinal (a 30k trail race). Since then, I’ve felt a lot of the negative emotions associated with running: unsure, incapable, weak, etc. I doubted myself, my ability, my body, and whether I deserved to be on the next start line. For some reason, these negative emotions impacted me more deeply than usual, and I struggled to feel them and move through them in an effective manner. During the last month and leading into my race last weekend, I’ve had a lot of doubt. The one thing I believed in was that if I kept showing up, eventually running would make me feel magnificent again. I stepped to the line and ran, even though I felt like I didn’t belong there, and it was progress. I felt strong during parts of the race, running was freeing...
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