Grief is the most uncontrollable thing I’ve ever encountered. Because you cannot control death. You do NOT know what happens when we die. If we knew, there’d be no role for faith. They say that what doesn’t break us makes us stronger. I’ve always hated that phrase. Because some things DO break us, even if we manage to survive. I think that Rudy’s death broke something in me. And part of me hopes it never ever unbreaks. Because I worry that if it heals? That if I do come out “stronger,” that I truly will have lost him forever. And I want no part in a world where that is true. Grief is unpredictable. I never would have guessed that losing my dog—my fourth dog—would blindside me with so much despair. That it would shake my faith so violently, I would never find my footing again. It has uncomplicated my life, in some ways, though. I value love, fellowship, kindness, good food. In the end, we don’t know where we are going, but today, we must be ok, we must find joy, in remembering who ...