This space is too short to contain all the thoughts I have on this fraught topic. Suffice it to say that of all the videos I’ve made over the years, this was one of the most difficult and I almost didn’t post it. I have received so many comments like these since I started posting my stories online and if you think I’ve grown immune to this level of disgustingness, think again. I am human. It confounds me that so many people—including Korean American men who are a part of several bar associations I belong to (oh yes, don’t think I don’t know)—think they have the right to tell me who I should love. Of all the choices that belong to me, I should think this is a given. But count on these people to find a yet another way to surprise me with their misogyny. Not just because they think they can tell me who to love, but because they ASSUME I lack the intelligence, self-worth, and savvy to decipher the fetishist from the genuine life partner. Yes, let’s continue infantilizing women by assuming...