The first time Ayden asked me what it meant to be "given up" I was confused because we'd been very intentional and careful to make sure the lingo we used did not offend, hurt, or disrespect our children in anyway. Additionally, we wanted to make sure that our children knew that they did nothing wrong to be in fostercare that subsequently led to adoption. . Ayden stated that a classmate asked him why did his birth mom "give him up." I could see the hurt in his eyes and it broke my heart. And while this was another child that asked him, I've seen the same type of questions from adults. When the birth mom/dad/parents have to make the decision to place their children in adoption, that is the most selfless act a parent can do for their children. They will never "give them up"...their children will always be apart of them, their hearts, their thoughts, and their prayers. We all have to be mindful of the way we talk to people and understand that just because its not offensive in your world...