Alfa Romeo. It looks like a radioactive courgette that’s been to finishing school and learned how to punch you in the throat. It would liquefy a set of rear tyres before you’ve even finished saying “Italian reliability,” leaving nothing but gold-rimmed carnage and a cloud of expensive dust on a coastal road that’s far too narrow for your ego. It’s the automotive equivalent of bringing a thermonuclear warhead to a knife fight just because you liked the shade of green. Is this the most beautiful object ever devised by man, or is it just a very expensive way to end up in a Mediterranean ditch? #AlfaRomeo