“I felt like I was fighting a battle I could never fully win and grieving the player I knew I could have been.” Julian Bell was only 12 years old when she started to struggle with chronic shin splints and stress reactions — pain that would only worsen with time, and eventually force her to medically retire early from her role on the Clemson Lacrosse team. The unending, extreme physical and mental pain that Julian experienced every day ultimately lead her to experiencing suicidal ideation and a desire to escape everything she was going through. She describes what felt like “living as a zombie” and “viewing her body from an aerial view,” without actually being present. These thoughts and feelings resulted in placement to a psychiatric facility, with the support of her sports psychologist and athletic trainer. Two years later, Julian finds herself wanting to share her story as a reminder that letting people into your experience matters. What doctors have described as a one in a milli...