📺 Red Panda News. Monday. Again. Obviously. 🐾 Good evening. We're back. Monday is also back which at this point feels personal. 😐 Top story tonight — red panda completed an undisclosed number of dancing lessons across an undisclosed number of styles in an undisclosed number of locations and is now operating at a footwork level that our correspondents describe only as "concerning" and "yes." 🎋 In travel news — another weekend trip. Another animal encounter. Another situation where the chain survived something that the official incident report describes in language we cannot repeat on a family news programme. 😤 Economic update — the dad bod index remains stable. Gold chain valuations unaffected. Bamboo futures looking strong. KitKat stocks unaccounted for. Investigation technically still open. 👁️ Cultural segment tonight — passinho has entered the building. The building is the favela. The favela has accepted him. This is no longer breaking news. This is just news. 🐾 Conserva...