The school meeting is one of the hardest parts of navigating school refusal. Not because the school is unkind - but because they’re trained to see behaviour. And when you’re sitting across the table from them, exhausted and already bracing for blame, it’s almost impossible to find the right words. The reframe that changed everything for us was this: stop trying to make them understand everything, and start asking for one small specific thing. A safe person. A shorter day. A quiet space to decompress. The nervous system responds to tiny changes. One trusted adult checking in briefly can stop a panic spiral before it starts. A seat near the door can be the difference between staying and shutting down completely. You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for what the research actually supports. Save this before your next meeting. Comment TOOLKIT and I’ll send you the link to the full series - including Book 6 which covers exactly how to navigate these conversations from ...