The year my daughter missed 100 days of school, everyone had advice. Just send her. Be consistent. She needs tough love. They weren’t wrong because they were cruel. They were wrong because they didn’t understand the biology. When a nervous system senses danger - even invisible danger - logic shuts down. Your child isn’t refusing because they don’t want to cope. Their body is in survival mode. Freeze isn’t defiance. Shutdown isn’t manipulation. Avoidance isn’t a choice. You don’t fix an alarm system with pressure. You fix it with safety. I know because I lived it. My daughter went from 100+ missed days in one school year - to getting into her first choice university. Not because we pushed harder. Because we finally stopped fighting her nervous system and started working with it. That one shift changed everything. Safety before steps. Connection before directions. Regulation before routines. That’s not overprotection. That’s neuroscience. If you’re in the thick of it ri...