the spark rarely dies in one night. it erodes through small habits repeated for months, until two people in the same bed start to feel like roommates. here are three of the quietest ones, and the fix for each. killer one is the phone in the dark. scrolling beside a partner who is trying to connect signals "not now" louder than any argument ever could. the fix is screens down and eyes up — the only light in the room pointed at each other. killer two is affection with an agenda. touch that always leads somewhere stops feeling safe to initiate or receive. therapists call the fix "non-demand affection" — touch that expects nothing. it's what makes desire want to show up later, unforced. killer three is losing the play. long-term couples who stop being silly together start to feel like co-managers of a household instead of partners. five minutes of deliberate silliness before lights out is one of the strongest predictors of long-term desire. fix the habit, not the feeling. the spark wa...