Conflict in a relationship... can make us feel like we're on opposite sides. But what's really underneath it... is that both people are defending the same things they deeply need. 💫 To feel loved. 💫 To feel secure. That's why what we say during an argument can carry more than the words themselves. “You never...” can sometimes mean, “Do you still see me?” And when someone gets defensive... they may really be asking, “Am I still safe with you?” When we recognize the need behind the reaction... we can stop fighting the reaction and start responding differently. Which one do you find yourself doing more when you don't feel heard... pushing for connection or pulling away to protect yourself? 🤍 #relationships #couples #healthyrelationships #drlauraberman