For years I tried to reason with her in the moment. Explain, bargain, offer the reward. It never worked, and I used to think that meant I was getting the words wrong. I wasn’t getting the words wrong. You can’t talk a body out of alarm. It’s not defiance, it’s biology doing exactly what it’s built to do. Once I stopped negotiating in the moment and started settling the alarm before anything else, everything else got easier to build on. She’s at university now. It started with this one rule. Comment TOOLKIT and I’ll send you the rest. - Jules ❤️ University mental health trained. And a mum who lived it. #schoolrefusal #schoolanxiety #teenanxiety #teenmentalhealth #kidsanxiety