Do you ever feel like you keep having the same fight with your partner 100 different ways? The subject changes. Money. Sex. The kids. Chores. Your mother-in-law. Who said what. Who didn’t do what. But somehow, the fight always ends up feeling strangely familiar. After more than 30 years of working with couples, I’ve learned that what couples are fighting about is often less important than the roles they fall into once the conflict begins. Psychologist Stephen Karpman called this pattern the Drama Triangle, and once you see it, it can be very hard to unsee. There are three roles: The Victim. The Villain. The Hero. And here’s what makes it so powerful: you can switch roles in the middle of the same argument without even realizing it. You can start out feeling hurt, become convinced your partner is the problem, and five minutes later find yourself trying to fix everything. Meanwhile, your partner is moving around the triangle too. That’s how two people who love each other can kee...