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Real love isn't measured by how connected you feel when everything is going well. It's often revealed by what happens when it isn't. When your partner disappoints you. When you're triggered. When an old wound suddenly enters an argument that supposedly has nothing to do with it. After 30+ years working with couples as a therapist, and 24 years in my own marriage, I've learned that most couples don't get stuck because they don't love each other. They get stuck because the same protective patterns take over when they feel hurt, rejected, or misunderstood. One person attacks. The other shuts down. One pursues. The other pulls away. And suddenly you're having a version of the same fight you've had 100 times. The goal isn't to never get triggered. It's to recognize the pattern sooner, pause, and get curious about what's really happening underneath it. That's where relationships can begin to change. What has your relationship taught you about yourself? 💗 #relationships #longterm...

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