I HATED VIETNAM growing up. The heat, the noise, being dragged there every few years to sit in rooms full of people I couldn’t talk to. But my recent trips showed me exactly what I needed to see, even if I wasn’t ready to hear it. Nobody in traffic stops, and nobody crashes. Took me twenty years to stop reading that as chaos. I spent most of those trips staring at a screen, waiting for it to be over. My grandma said I love you and gave me a big kiss every single time. I didn’t think about why until the next visit, when she wasn’t there. A stranger on a motorbike asked me more questions in ten minutes than most people ask me in a year. My auntie always made sure I had food in my hand, and then told me to take better care of myself so I could come back. My family made sure that no matter how much time passed, there would be a seat waiting for me every single time. Everybody got up and drove me to the airport at 3 am to say goodbye. It felt like a lifetime had passed on that lo...