It’s not that he can’t remember. It’s that he’s never had to. Weaponized incompetence isn’t always dramatic, sometimes it just looks like exhaustion that only one of you carries. Here’s how to tell if the mental load is actually split. 1. You’re the only one who remembers appointments → You both track what’s coming up 2. You have to ask before anything gets done → Things get done without you asking 3. You’re the default parent or planner → You take turns being in charge 4. You explain the same thing over and over → They remember without repeating 5. You feel like their manager, not their partner → You feel like a team Equal effort isn’t a favor. It’s the baseline. Save this and check where you land on each line. Share it with your partner, not as an accusation, as a conversation starter. Follow @couplescommunicate for more research backed relationship insight. #CouplesCommunicate #RelationshipAdvice #MentalLoad #WeaponizedIncompetence