Sometimes the relationship advice that feels best in the moment isn’t actually what helps the relationship. “Take some space. Get away. Focus on yourself.” And listen, I’m a big believer in alone time. Sometimes you need to get out of the intensity of a conflict and regulate yourself before you can have a productive conversation. But there’s a difference between taking space and using space to avoid what keeps happening between you. If every difficult period ends with one or both of you escaping the relationship for a while, you may come back rested. You may miss each other. You may even feel close again. Until the same argument happens. The same resentment comes back. The same disconnection starts creeping in. Because the time apart gave you relief, but it didn’t change the pattern. At some point, you have to get curious about what keeps happening between you. What are you each reacting to? What gets triggered? What do you do next that makes it worse? And what could you do di...