That sci-fi “pew pew” echoing across frozen Antarctic lakes is often credited to the Doppler effect. It is not. Nothing is moving fast enough. The real culprit is dispersion, and the ice itself is the instrument. When a stone, ice chunk or footstep strikes thin lake ice, the impact launches a flexural (bending) wave through the sheet. In a thin elastic plate, bending waves do not travel at one speed. Their phase velocity scales with the square root of frequency, so high frequencies outrun low frequencies. The result at the listener: - The high-frequency content arrives first - The lower frequencies trail behind, arriving progressively later - A single sharp impact is stretched into a descending frequency sweep, known as a chirp - The ear reads that falling chirp as a blaster shot Doppler shifts require relative motion between source and observer, and the shift scales with v/c. Standing still on a lake, v is effectively zero. Dispersion requires no motion at all, only a medium whose ...