People make one of the dumbest mistakes in relationships when they commit to someone because of who they hope that person will eventually become. Then they spend the next five years trying to renovate a human being. Let me save you some time: People are not home improvement projects. If someone has a shitty attitude, bad habits, poor character, emotional instability, or behaviors you already know you can't stand, don't build a relationship around the fantasy that you'll somehow change them. You probably won't. And even if they eventually change, it will be because they decided to change, not because you nagged, begged, manipulated, threatened, loved them harder, or gave them an ultimatum. People change when they're ready to change. Not when you decide they're supposed to. This is why "I love them, but I just wish they would..." is often a giant red flag. You don't love the person. You love the potential version of the person you've created in your head. And then when realit...