If your child’s stomach hurts at bedtime on a Sunday and not on a Friday, the pattern is the clue. School refusal very often shows up in the body before it shows up in words. The nervous system detects something it reads as danger, school, separation, the bus, a teacher, and it fires the alarm. Stomach aches, nausea, headaches, not being able to eat breakfast. The thoughts (“I don’t want to go”) come after, as the brain tries to explain what the body already feels. That’s why “you’re fine, it’s nothing” doesn’t land. To their body, it isn’t nothing. What helps instead: 1. Believe the body. Say “Your tummy is telling us something feels big about tomorrow. That makes sense.” You’re not agreeing they stay home. You’re agreeing the feeling is real. 2. Take the pressure off bedtime. No planning tomorrow, no pep talks, no “you have to go.” Bedtime is for calming the alarm, not negotiating. 3. Help the body settle first. Warmth, a hand on her back, a slow breath together. A calmer bo...