“Strive to be average.” My therapist told me this earlier this year in quarantine. Everything in my body seemed to tingle after hearing her say this. The kind of tingle that hurts because it’s right and good. For the majority of my life, I’ve done everything BUT strive to be average. At 10 years old, I was practicing filling out college applications - longing and preparing to be a “big girl”. Wanting to make something of myself and my dreams, believing wholeheartedly I could do exactly what I was envisioning in my mind. Almost feeling like it wasn’t something that lived just in my daydreams, but it was something far bigger than just me. As I got older though, this belief turned into fear. It turned into a fear of being humiliated, a fear of being trapped in mundane, a fear of being laughed at and ridiculed. I channeled ALL of my energy into being the first one to show up and the last one to leave - aching to prove that I BELONGED here. Now, at 23, with the opportunities I’ve been ...